While snooping around for alternate routes up "V 5" I came across "Grandma Betty's Couloir" on Google Maps, of all places.

Why there's a named couloir on Google Maps I can't say, and I wasn't able to find any information at all about it. I almost wonder if someone added it to Google Maps as a joke. Perhaps it's a Silverton locals thing. In any case, it looked viable on Google Earth and I figured it would be fun to try something that I knew nothing about. I got up at 2am and drove from Ridgway to the Silverton side of Ophir Pass, parking where Boggy B and Kylie did when they climbed "V 5"'s east couloir (visible as the deep cleft in the photo above). I could have driven further but I was in my Civic and the point where I stopped was an icy stream crossing. Shallow, but still too icy for my comfort. I hiked up the road and ran into a bobcat (didn't get any pictures in the dark, sorry) and eventually dropped off the road towards Middle Fork Mineral Creek, where I crossed to the south side on a snow bridge and encountered a soupy hillside covered in the namesake minerals. The water here must have been warm because the hillside was completely melted out and soggy, a disgusting mix of orange and white slop. I carefully crossed the slope, making sure to touch it as little as possible.

I continued straight up the drainage on solid snow, the creek burbling beneath my feet. Eventually the sun rose and I was treated to views of South Lookout Peak at the head of Paradise Basin.

The snow in the basin continued to be great as I turned south towards "V 5", which I expected to be a giant lump. From the Clear Lake side it is, but from Paradise Basin it's quite rugged.

There were numerous couloirs on the ridge west of "V 5", any of which could have been Grandma Betty's. It's not like there was a sign. The point on Google Maps is farther west than the line I climbed, but I'm still going to call it Granny's, OK? Leave poor Gamgam alone!

I dropped my snowshoes, which ended up being useless the entire day, donned crampons, and got out my ice axe. The couloir didn't look hard, and there were a bunch of ski tracks down it but no steps that I could see. I began up, mixing French technique and front pointing. Sometimes I sank in a few inches but for the most part the snow was icy and stiff. I had expected the snow to be total garbage so I was happy not to be postholing at 6am.

The climbing was straightforward and I found a three-way split at the top; left branch was dry talus, right branch an overhanging cornice, and the middle branch juuuust right (a totally vertical but short cornice). My, Granny, what big couloirs you have!

From the top of the couloir there wasn't a direct line up the summit block. I had to traverse around on the south slopes in order to gain a gully described in other trip reports for "V 5". Snow on the south slopes was in terrible shape, with an icy crust on top prone to randomly punching through to the knee or deeper.

There were two options for gullies to gain the ridge, both mostly on snow. The left-hand option wasn't visible until I was underneath it, but I took it because the right option was quite a bit steeper.

This gully was more moderate, but a bit drier. I started out on snow, then transitioned to dirt and rock, then back to snow, and finally to rock in the upper gully. I kept my crampons on for the entire ascent and descent despite this since I didn't want to waste time gearing up and down repeatedly.

Reaching the top of the gully deposited me directly on the summit ridge. The summit was just to the north, with what looked to be another small notch. Ultimately the notch ended up not really being anything, and I was soon on the summit.

Not wanting the snow to get too soft on me I quickly returned over the summit ridge to the gully and scrambled back to the south slopes, then crossed them on mushy snow to the top of Grandma Betty's couloir.

I quickly plunge stepped the 600 or so feet back to my snowshoes, happy that the snow in Paradise Basin was still very supportive.

I kept my crampons on before trudging down the snow-covered moraines. While descending I noticed a trail across the drainage, which I hadn't seen in the morning. I made my way over to the trail instead of following the creek down, and took my crampons off here.

As I followed the trail around to the east and then northeast side of the hill sporadic snow patches became large snow patches which became solid snow. At this point in the day it was soft and sometimes punchy, but steep enough that my snowshoes wouldn't have been much use either. The road was tantalizingly close but it felt like it took forever to get there as I entered the forest where the snow became even worse. Eventually I just went straight down to the creek on snow, since the completely dry elevation gain from the creek was less effort and less time consuming than the slop on the hillside.

I trudged back to my car on the road, being passed by a truck going down and a biker going up. Yay spring! The road was pretty wet given the rapid melting, but I stayed dry enough. I couldn't see "V 5" when I got back, but I was happy with the route given that it was short, fun, and an unknown. Best of all is it kept me off the loose junk of the San Miguel. Though the route from Clear Lake is easy enough in summer (probably one of the easier San Miguel 13ers) this one, like Boggy's, is a fun snow climb for those who have that within their abilities! I might not have gotten Grandma Betty's famous chocolate chip cookies, but I got the next best thing - a new snow climb to a fine thirteener summit.

Statistics

Climbers: Ben Feinstein (myself)
Trailhead: Ophir Pass Road

Total distance: 6.67 miles
Total elevation gain: 3,570 feet
Total time: 5:10:37
Peaks: One ranked thirteener

• "V 5", 13,156'

Splits: